


The Warrior (After the War)

by writingbyrachel



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU after the season finale (probably), Angst, Brother-Sister Relationships, Drabble, Gen, I will never not love Octavia Blake, Post-Season/Series 05, fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 02:30:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15500343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingbyrachel/pseuds/writingbyrachel
Summary: The war is over, and the Blakes are still alive. That doesn't mean that everything's going to be okay, or that anything is. Sometimes who we need to be to survive overshadows who we are.Alternative title: Lily Pads. Because the first one who touches the ground, loses.





	The Warrior (After the War)

**Author's Note:**

> tw: suicidal thoughts

“I wanted to die in this fight,” she says without turning around. The footsteps stutter to a stop. Octavia doesn’t bother turning around to see his expression.

When Bellamy finally lowers himself beside her, he just looks tired. “I love you, O.”

“Do you really?” she asks dryly, her hands twining through the long grass. “Still?”

It was a rhetorical question, but his “ _yes_ ” is strong enough to give her pause. Her brother forges on. “I don’t know what happened to you... I don’t even know who you are anymore. But underneath it all, somewhere, I have to believe that part of you is still my sister.”

Octavia wonders if that’s true. She thinks back to the girl under the floor, the girl who was first off the dropship, the girl who loved Lincoln – naive, idealistic, _weak_ – and doesn’t think so. The memories are faint and far away. Clearer is the Red Queen: anger, conviction, desperation. And now, nothing. She looks at Bellamy and tries to dredge up emotion. Does _she_ still love _him?_

She doesn’t know, and it’s an aching, empty kind of sorrow.

“I wanted to die,” she says again. She tips her head back toward the sky; the sunlight is cold on her face.

This time Bellamy says nothing, only reaches out and takes her hand in his. It’s warm. Octavia closes her eyes, and for a moment, she remembers, and she _hurts._

As soon as she opens her eyes, the feeling is gone.

**Author's Note:**

> "Who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things." -Bellamy


End file.
